It’s half-seven in the evening and I am writing from a hospital bed (which I am sure is against all the rules). I came in last night for a scheduled stay because today I had a biopsy to get a sample from a lesion in my pelvic area.

The PET scan supposed to be for my lung nodules turned up an “area of interest” that wasn’t seen before, and it has to be identified before the lung surgery can proceed.

I had to stay overnight to ensure I had a bed in which to recover after the biopsy, which happened around 4pm today.

It involves taking a sample of the suspect tissue using a long needle and a sort of sharp tiny cutters that go “click” when they cut. They freeze the area with a local anaesthetic so you are not under ether etc. They took four or five samples.

Because the needle has to be in the precise spot the whole thing is CT-assisted: they work from a scan of your insides to guide the needle.

It was easier to approach it from the back, so one more undignified arse in the air moment.

It didn’t hurt a bit, and I fancied telling them to keep making with the clicks until they had chopped it all up but that would be spoiling the future fun.

I now wait 10 days to find out if my bowel cancer is recurring or if it is just a random lump. If it is the latter I will revert to the original plan for a lung resection. Who knows when. If it’s recurring it means it has come back because it wasn’t all cut out in 2009. The odds are that if 100 people present with bowel cancer, 70 of them will be offered curative surgery and for 17 of them it won’t be a cure i.e. it will re-occur. Wonder if I can ask the oncologist “what’s recurring” in a Welsh accent?

Got only broken sleep last night. One older guy in a very confused state jumped up in night and ripped out all his needles. Blood on the walls. He has lung cancer I think and it looked to me like he has a bad heart to go with it. The guy in the next bed was younger (~mid 60s) and has terminal pancreatic cancer I think. They drained 7 litres of fluid out of him over the 1 1/2 days. Some drastic diet plan, but it certainly works I suppose.

Theirs are the real nightmares. I’m just a fake here.

Looking forward to going home later – they will let me leave around 11pm. Just like the clubbing days, out late in the streets.

But at least I got to read an entire book, namely “The Peregrine” by J.A. Baker. More on that next time.

The National – Fake Empire