The only mountain I’ll ever climb is a metaphorical one, and yet some of the terms in the climbing glossary are very appealing. My favourite is Belaying, which is the use of an anchor for a rope so that a falling climber does not fall much further than the anchor point.

In CancerWorld, the rope is time. Every so often, it feels like you slip and fall. Instead of crashing all the way to your oblivion you are left dangling from some anchor point. It’s further down, but not the bottom. I compare what I considered my ‘normal health’, say back in November 2016, and it is not the same as today. I’ve often remarked previously on how absurd if felt to be suffering from a terminal illness and yet feel and look so healthy.

Now, I feel much more tired. My appetite has declined dramatically. I look at my body and see all the vanished muscle (still covered by some flabby fat, annoyingly). I’m not sure how severe the weight loss has to be before they call it Cachexia, but it must be close.

But in January I wanted desperately to start my chemotherapy drug, Lonsurf, and I pressed on. In February, when they said my blood counts were all normal, I asked to continue with cycle #2. This week, although I was expecting bad blood reports, in fact it was normal and I have been able to go on with cycle #3.

The side effects that would have led to abandonment (diarrhoea leading to dehydration then kidney damage, mostly) did not happen. I do feel enormous fatigue on many days, and occasional nausea. There is a tendency to under-estimate an oral drug compared to i/v, as it is four tiny tablets twice a day. But the 160mg daily dose soon builds up inside your system. In a given cycle you take the drug in the first half of the month, then abstain in the second half. It is during the second half that you feel it most.

The plan is to do a CT scan at the end of March, and review the results in early April. If the tumours have reduced, it will be motivation to carry on taking the drug. If they have increased, I will stop. If they are the same (“progression has been arrested”) then it will be a mighty dilemma.

Tomorrow, it’s back to Thoracic Park for the regular cryotherapy session. And, as always, again. They’ve worked on the same two lumps at most of the sessions so far. Trying to keep them in check and stop growth. They seem willing to carry on for the long-term.