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My MRI scan happened on Monday at 07:30. It was no problem making the early slot as I tend to wake these days not later than 4am. Probably some drug side effects. In this, the heart of summer, it isn’t any burden to shake free the tangle of night roots and just enjoy the calm. As the surrealist painter and author Leonora Carrington says: “Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. Everything is transfixed, only the light moves.

Later the same day I had the results via another appointment with my OncDoc. There are two clearly-visible tumours at the back of the brain, one on either side. I’d guess the one on the left is around 3-4cm, and the other is around 2-3cm. That would put them on the larger side of the usual scale.

Two lesions far apart rules out a resection (surgery) and is less suitable for the ‘pinpoint’ or high-dose stereotactic radiotherapy method. It does leave the way clear for what is called whole-brain radiotherapy (WBRT). That will be the one for me. It has the extra advantage that it will treat the bits that are not yet visible, as well as the two above.

By the way, there’s a very high probability I will lose all my hair because of this. But as we both remarked in the car on the way home, the decision is a no-brainer. Sorry, I’ll stop it at that.

I have to get a personalised head mould made for me so I can stay perfectly still. That happens this week so I could be starting treatment as early as next week. The sessions are typical radiotherapy – daily for two weeks. Each session probably consisting of 5-10 minutes of zapping, 45 minutes of preparation and setup.

This gives me an excellent opportunity to play my CancerBingo game, in which I get the chance to include stock quotes that just belong in a Cancer blog. Today seems right for the ‘famous’ Anton Chekhov quote: “Any idiot can face a crisis, it’s the day to day living that wears you out.” Actually, it’s not his quote at all. It comes from a Bing Crosby 1954 film called “The Country Girl”, which in turn was based on a play written by Clifford Odets.

The title of this blog I borrowed from my current favourite Aldous Harding, a New Zealand folk singer with more than a little of the Gothic about her. One of her other songs mentions “Baudelaire in the afternoon.” I like me a bit of Les Fleurs du Mal. He did say: “You have to be always drunk. That’s all there is to it—it’s the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk. But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

Time for a gin and tonic.